Last
night’s discussion with Gigi while putting her to bed:
Gigi:
“I want my Daddy, I want my Daddy (with big whiny voice)…I don’t
want you.”
Katie:
“I know, honey. I’m sorry. Daddy will be home tomorrow.
How about I get a picture of him for your nightstand?” I proceed to find
a picture of me and him to put on her night stand.
Gigi:
“I want a picture of Daddy. I want a picture of Daddy…alone…I
don’t want you.”
Katie: (now
laughing) “Oh…you want just a picture of Daddy.”
Gigi:
Yes, Daddy is strong. [long pause] You are weak.” Then, she
repeats with a smile on her face (because she is teasing at this point) “You
are weak.” She then asks me to show her my muscle, which I do.
Gigi:
“Flabby muscle, flabby muscle,” as she bats at my deltoid pointing out my full
40 years to me (with a teasing smile on her face).
 |
| Gigi and her Dad |
So.
What are the lessons here?
Number
one: With age and multiple children comes humility. It’s a good
thing that I know my daughter loves and needs me – a mom with less experience
could easily get her feelings hurt :o)
Number
Two: She loves and adores her Daddy - he is irreplaceable! Daddy is
her “buddy” in a different way than Mommy. She helps him mow the lawn,
wash the cars, plant and keep the garden, and carry the “cycling” out with him
for trash day. He is also her favorite playmate. He is the one that
wrestles with them, plays soccer in the backyard – he is way more fun than I
could ever be. He doesn’t just have her walk up the stairs for bedtime
(like I do) – he gives her a piggy-back ride or carries her upside down –
always! He will play for hours in the pool with her and her siblings
while I get lazy and want to rest and sit in the sun. They bake together
and he never cares about the mess. The two of them giggle and play WAY
past bedtime. And, he ALWAYS reads her
an extra book.
Research on
parenthood is clear that Dads play a critical and irreplaceable role in the lives
of their children.
Fathers tend to do more stimulating play which is
associated with children having greater regulation of their emotions and
self-control. Dads tend to promote achievement, independence and an
orientation to the outside world, whereas moms tend to emphasize nurturing –
all of which are important for healthy child development. It is also the
case that children are positively influenced when Dad has a good relationship
with Mom (even if they are not married or in a romantic relationship).
The good news is that research suggests Dads are spending more time with their
children than ever before and are more likely - than ever before - to hug them
and tell them they love them. The bad news is that too many children in Oklahoma and in our
community are growing up without an involved Dad in their life.
This
Father’s Day I hope you will celebrate all the wonderful, unique, and important
things Dads bring to the lives of our children. And, for those children
needing more of a Dad figure in their lives, I hope families and our community
will continue to come together to make sure those kiddos get what they need
from other “father-figures” in their lives. Happy Father’s Day!
-Katie Fitzgerald, MSW, Executive Director
Resources on fatherhood statistics and research:
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