The Power of Dad

I guess it is fitting, as we approach Father’s Day, that I am reminded of the power of Daddy in my children’s lives.  A few days ago my husband and son left for some male bonding at Boy Scout camp – a great father/son activity in and of itself.  This left me and the girls alone for a few days of girl-oriented fun!  Surely the girls would be as excited as I was - painting nails, endless chick flicks (Rapunzel-style) and games of dress-up!  Little did I know that Gigi’s (who is my four-year-old) attachment with her Daddy is so strong that this was not a welcome change of pace for her. 

Last night’s discussion with Gigi while putting her to bed:

Gigi:    “I want my Daddy, I want my Daddy (with big whiny voice)…I don’t want you.”

Katie:  “I know, honey.  I’m sorry.  Daddy will be home tomorrow.  How about I get a picture of him for your nightstand?”  I proceed to find a picture of me and him to put on her night stand.

Gigi:  “I want a picture of Daddy.  I want a picture of Daddy…alone…I don’t want you.”

Katie: (now laughing)  “Oh…you want just a picture of Daddy.” 

Gigi:  Yes, Daddy is strong.  [long pause] You are weak.”  Then, she repeats with a smile on her face (because she is teasing at this point) “You are weak.” She then asks me to show her my muscle, which I do.

Gigi:  “Flabby muscle, flabby muscle,” as she bats at my deltoid pointing out my full 40 years to me (with a teasing smile on her face).

Gigi and her Dad

So.  What are the lessons here? 

Number one:  With age and multiple children comes humility.  It’s a good thing that I know my daughter loves and needs me – a mom with less experience could easily get her feelings hurt :o) 

Number Two:  She loves and adores her Daddy - he is irreplaceable!  Daddy is her “buddy” in a different way than Mommy.  She helps him mow the lawn, wash the cars, plant and keep the garden, and carry the “cycling” out with him for trash day.  He is also her favorite playmate.  He is the one that wrestles with them, plays soccer in the backyard – he is way more fun than I could ever be.  He doesn’t just have her walk up the stairs for bedtime (like I do) – he gives her a piggy-back ride or carries her upside down – always!  He will play for hours in the pool with her and her siblings while I get lazy and want to rest and sit in the sun.  They bake together and he never cares about the mess.  The two of them giggle and play WAY past bedtime.  And, he ALWAYS reads her an extra book. 

Research on parenthood is clear that Dads play a critical and irreplaceable role in the lives of their children. 

Fathers tend to do more stimulating play which is associated with children having greater regulation of their emotions and self-control.  Dads tend to promote achievement, independence and an orientation to the outside world, whereas moms tend to emphasize nurturing – all of which are important for healthy child development.  It is also the case that children are positively influenced when Dad has a good relationship with Mom (even if they are not married or in a romantic relationship).  The good news is that research suggests Dads are spending more time with their children than ever before and are more likely - than ever before - to hug them and tell them they love them.  The bad news is that too many children in Oklahoma and in our community are growing up without an involved Dad in their life.

This Father’s Day I hope you will celebrate all the wonderful, unique, and important things Dads bring to the lives of our children.  And, for those children needing more of a Dad figure in their lives, I hope families and our community will continue to come together to make sure those kiddos get what they need from other “father-figures” in their lives.   Happy Father’s Day!    

-Katie Fitzgerald, MSW, Executive Director

Bottoms up.



CCFI Baby Pantry



Imagine everything it takes to be a parent.
Now imagine it without diapers.

Many families struggle to provide basic needs for their children. In fact, one in three mothers will struggle to provide clean, dry diapers for their babies. Contrary to popular belief, government programs do not assist with paper products, including diapers, and many daycare and child care agencies will only accept disposable diapers. With that said it becomes a difficult situation, and often times a choice, for parents struggling to make ends meet.

However, the Center for Children and Families, Inc.’s (CCFI) Baby Pantry assists parents in being able to meet these essential needs. One of our core organizational beliefs here at CCFI is that all parents need help and should never be ashamed to ask for advice, diapers or support. We see caregivers that seek help in raising their children every day at CCFI and know it is a sign of maturity and hope – never failure.
Anytime you can help lessen stress and assist families in being successful parents you are teaching them valuable skills.  Stressed parents do not always make positive decisions. By offering support and hope we are providing the opportunity for parents to have one less stressor in their lives.  Sometimes it helps just knowing that someone cares…and is there when you need them the most. Our Baby Pantry serves that role and is there for when parents need it the most.

At CCFI we’ve been fortunate to stock our Baby Pantry entirely on community donations and provided thousands of parents with nearly 40,000 diapers and hundreds of essential items (baby wipes, formula and cereal) in 2011. If we can provide support, encouragement and hope to families by allowing them to focus on the more important areas of parenting, like the relationship with their little ones, then it’s truly a benefit for the parent, child and the family as a whole, all of which transcends into a healthier community.

Falalalalalalala!

Holiday Gifting Program 2010 

Some of the Holiday Helpers!

During the holidays at CCFI we have a Holiday Gifting Program for families in our services. This year nearly 300 children were provided with presents to unwrap due to the outpouring of support from local businesses and residents from throughout Cleveland County and the surrounding areas.
 
As the donations and presents began to pile up, we began recruiting elves and holiday helpers to get all the gifts packed and ready for our program staff to deliver.

With much gratitude, all of us at CCFI, and especially the children and families that we serve, thank you for your support and for making a difference during this holiday season.
    

How your gifts made a difference...  

Staff members shared many quotes and stories from the children and families who received gifts this holiday season. Below are some excerpts:

Lead Holiday Helper, Kristi!

 

Before delivering the gifts to her home, we learned that one young single mother had just recently lost her job and was really concerned about being able to purchase gifts for her children. When we carried the gifts up to her apartment and she saw the bags full of beautiful gifts for her four children, she got misty-eyed as she hugged us and said "I can't wait to see their faces light up on Christmas morning... I was so afraid I was going to miss that this year."

One particular grandma, whose raising her 6yr old son alone, on a single income got teary eyed as we gave her the gifts saying “you don’t know how much this mean’s to me.”.

One mom said, I’m so appreciative that you guys are doing this, you don’t know how much this means to me!

A single mother who is a full-time student was overwhelmed with joy when presents for her middle school age daughter arrived.  She had recently been hospitalized and had not been able to purchase Christmas presents. She stated that she was “so thankful for everything” and that her daughter would all the gifts.

Katie and a few Holiday donors!

"Six months ago a dad of some kids in my program lost his job. He was really unsure and worried about being able to give his children gifts this season. He was incredibly grateful and told us over and over again how much it meant to him as a father. I think he was relieved that his children's holidays were going to be happy."

 

“Is all that for us?”

 

"A mom struggling to make ends meet told us that we made her wishes come true because it is really hard to buy the things her children want during the holidays. She told us there wasn't any more stress and she could now enjoy Christmas."

Thank you to all our holiday gift donors, helpers, and volunteers for helping make this holiday special for the children and families we serve!